Soul Reaver is REVAMPED

Yeah Kick Ass, well since its not monday I wanna share with you one of my fondest childhood memories along with the fact that its going to be brought back to life!..Remember when your dad bought you that first giant Turkey leg at Disney world, or when Santa Clause brought you that really cool Alien vs. Predator set you were dying for. It was always about the hype and its appreciative value that gave us that I will never forget you memory. Its been a long time since something like this has crossed paths with me but it looks like those feelings have just been REVAMPED. This review is a unique situation because its not the typical thing you see here on Lick the Stranger. Well I say we take a little detour and do a game Review in anticipation for its REBOOT this year. If your a gamer, Im sure your just as fond as I am about Soul Reaver so Im sure you’ll appreciate this. Remember a little company called “Crystal Dynamics” in the early 90’s?

Sure you do, along with Eidos (later bought by Square Enix) were responsible for one of the most important series of games in the dialog drama/action genre of gaming, a series clearly ahead of its time and widely praised…what series is this none other than The Legacy of Kain Soul Reaver.

Original Cover for Soul Reaver in 1997

Ah Yea papa, this is one my favorite games growing up.. this game was all I talked about..all I played with my friends. While other kids played cops and robbers, yea we made elaborate role playing games on soul reaver. Well…I always pretended to be this guy ^ yea you see his hands, we would play vampire games while taping our fingers together to look like we had a three digit claw hand, yeah.. we were interesting. Yes, you did read correctly I said VAMPIRE… now all the twilight people when vampires get burned and rematerialized yea that’s what they look like, would you still like Edward if he looked like that. Just kidding…just kidding but seriously though that would make twilight cooler.

For those who haven’t played the game I’m gonna enlighten you like Buddha. Well there are vampires led by a ruthless leader Named Kain, how is of course immortal. His clan is located in a world known as Nosgoth Controlled by the nine guardians called “the pillars of Nosgoth” since kain is immortal his existance disturbs the cycle of life and death and is offered a chance to save the land by sacrificing himself. He refuses and decides to make his small army of immortals (mainly 6 guys) and dooms the land to decay. After living for hundreds of years the vampires gain new gifts that allow them to grow stronger, well one of his immortals (vampire sons) Raziel (main Protagonist) kneels before Kain to show his gift. Raziels gift was the gift of Flight (yea he grew wings, pretty Fnnn Badass)

Raziel in vampire form

Afraid that his gift has surpassed that of Kain’s…(which by the way Kains abilities are levitation and turning into myst, among the few..not bad right?) Well… he rips off his wings..

Kains got the WTF look on his face..I mean look at him, its like that guy at a party that says oh shit why cant I have those gifts, charlie always gets the best shit.

So what else does Kain do?…Well he kills him..As if turning into myst, levitating and sucking peoples blood from a distance (yea I forgot to mention he can literally rip the blood from your chest without touching you) wasnt enough…I mean the poor guy finally gets a gift and what happens..he gets killed…what a greedy bitch. You would think at least he rips of his head or something quick or (*other forms of killing a vampire.. driving a stick through the heart, flame, sunlight, fire…woops already said that) but no, he gets a fate much worse than that…he gets to be thrown into the Abyss…whats that? I’ll show you…

That green think in the middle is Water surrounded by souls of the dead

See in every Vampire related game/movie they always have to add new weaknesses to vampires,in this particular game its WATER*(dont ask me why it just is) you know whats up with that? like in the movie “BLADE” which really screwed up the vampire weaknesses really really bad I mean silver?!? really ?? were they confused or something? as to whether to make a movie about Vampires or Werewolves? or did they get a budget cut half way through making a Werewolf film and decided WELL..Lets just keep it the way it is no one will know the difference?? I mean who the HELL thought of that SHIT?!! its like “Oh lets ruin an entire mythology by grabbing a weakness from a totally different mythycal creature and lets add it in there for the hell of it, Fans would love that!!”

ERR! RIGHT IN THE NUTS! with that one!

Back to what I was saying, in this game, water burns like acid…figures great game nonetheless. So upon falling into the abyss Raziel burns and burns and burns.. till he dies but OH wait… he’s revived by the keeper of Death himself and is told that he must end Kains Vampire Plague to restore balance to the Wheel of Fate, so your job is to destroy kain and your Vampire Brothers (which by consuming them you attain new abilities) Cool thing is you don’t drink blood any more nooo now you DEVOUR SOULS! as a source of life; as if the story wasn’t badass enough RIGHT?! So now he is the undead wraith of DEATH himself! kind like the scythe of a grim reaper.

So from cool looking to holy shit status.

So on you go trying to find your brothers, who haven’t exactly aged like wine, in fact they’ve aged like puke, but of course being thousands of years old comes with its perks. Every vampire has overcome one of its weakness, one is impervious to water (Rahab) another has the power to climb any surface (Zephon), (malchaia) has the power to dematerialize through barriers (so essentially passing though walls). There are others like Dumah and turrel but since most art is pixileted I got the best concept art of Turel from SR defiance.

you fight through creative creature AI and elaborative puzzles with impressive cinematic landscapes and unique dialog (in fact won greatest voice acting in 1999). (EPIC MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING) All in all the game was amazing and worth every moment of its cubic like graphics on the Playstation one, aside from some mythological aspects the game flows with ease and makes for a great dramatic epic that will forever change you. Recently, the game is rumored to being Revamped and released, or so goes the rumor from Crystal Dynamics (currently working on the new Tomb Raider title). The story of Raziel is a long and epic journey, which I would love to talk about in further detail some other time. From what IGN is saying “full reworking of the vampire action classic” and will have “a new art direction”. Honestly, the relationship between me and this game are like covalent bonds and its really brings back the best memories of my child hood. I hope you enjoyed my review of a Playstation/PC classic and I hope to do this more if you enjoyed it.Remember if you see a vampire NO SILVER WILL NOT DISINTEGRATE THEM! Well heres to you Soul Reaver, may your hype be worth it, just as it was when I was a kid….may you live forever! ( EPIC MUSIC CLOSES***)


3 Responses to “Soul Reaver is REVAMPED”

  1. I’m not even a gamer–I just liked your captions & humor.

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